Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Fat Jesus Reviews Talks WWE #1!

I've been wanting to do more wrestling posts alongside of my normal film reviews. I have a schedule of film reviews that will be starting next Monday (February 1st) so keep an eye out for everything leading into The Academy Awards this year!

My friend Mike and I have known each other for like five or six years now, I don't know anymore. We met way back in the day on John Canton's Facebook page. If you don't know John Canton, go give him a follow on Twitter (@JohnReport) or check out his website TJR Wrestling. He's one of the best at covering pro wrestling. Back on track, Mike and I both love sports, I'm a Dallas sports guy and he's a Chicago one. But more importantly, we're both pro wrestling fans. WWE, despite it's recent shortcomings, has been the most accessible wrestling for most of our lives. We've always watched it, no matter how bad Raw's have been lately. After almost every WWE PPV at some point during the following week (after Raw) we have some sort of discussion, fantasy booking, etc.

We discuss what we think is stupid, correct and what we'd like to see happen going forward. This week, coming off the 2016 Royal Rumble, the jumping off point was Roman Reigns being put into the number one contenders triple threat match at Fastlane, which spiraled into talking about Brock Lesnar, The Wyatt Family, Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura. Our good friend Graeme also had some thoughts on the Charlotte, Becky and Sasha triangle too!

This is more of a test blog to see how much interest people would have of putting my friends and my hypothetical wrestling booking and thoughts into a blog post. We're grown men who get passionate about oiled up men grappling each other, so there is some heavy cursing at times. So if you like this, keep doing what you're doing by reading the post, or you can let one of us know your thoughts!

Also, if you're interested in my thoughts on all the pro wrestling events I watch this year and what the most notable and best matches are, be sure to visit this link:!


Michael Ryne: Though I am excited for the next few months of WWE, the more I think about it, the more how ridiculously stupid their current storylines are in a literal sense.

Triple H wins the title -- so his wife books a #1 contenders match in which her husband could potentially face Brock Lesnar...what.

Also, Lesnar is probably going to get screwed by the Wyatts in that match -- the very same Bray Wyatt who once famously said "ANYONE but you, Roman" But he's going to help Roman win the #1 contenders match most likely.

 WWE is good, but logically hilarious. [Haha]

Matt Day: Not to mention if it were really up to The Authority why put Roman in the match at all? Just make it Brock vs Dean Ambrose with Roman on the outside looking in.

Michael Ryne: I can buy the reasoning of "Well, fuck you Roman, this is your "rematch clause" but fuck you, it's to become the #1 Contender."

Matt Day: I guess you could say it's technically his rematch too, I suppose. But he has one anyway so there should be no reason for him to have to fight for the rematch he's owed. 

I'm resigned to the fact he's (Reigns) probably holding it (World Title) until Seth comes back or something. [Haha] I'm excited for literally everything but the main title.

Michael Ryne: Also they fucking blow at pushing Roman [Haha] It worked when he beat Sheamus because no one like Sheamus. Now he's facing a top 3 face in the company in Ambrose and fucking Lesnar who is so badass, most fans like him and the smart fans adore him. No one is going to root for Reigns. [Haha]

Matt Day: Lesnar is a face now after getting fucked by The Authority and The Wyatts.

Michael Ryne: Exactly, it's a 3 face match and Roman is by far the least popular. And yet he's going to be the one pushed and wind up with the title after WrestleMania -- hell that show is likely going to end with Reigns and the title. [Haha]

Matt Day: I think Flo Rida fans love Triple H because of NXT and such and he'll get more heat other places. So that will help too. 

Matt Day: I think Roman is more popular than Dean to be honest.

Michael Ryne: I would disagree, I think Dean gets more consistent pops with zero boos.

Michael Ryne: Reigns may get louder ones at times, but he gets booed too.

Matt Day: I guess WWE likes the overall reaction Roman invokes.

Michael Ryne: New Cena lol.

Matt Day: He feels more like new Batista right now. New-ish guy, gets loud ass mixed reactions and can't talk on the mic to save his life.

Michael Ryne: Just put the title on Styles and post-Wrestlemania, they have a year-long hatred-fueled feud with Nakamura over the title until Summerslam with Nakamura being a part of the authority

Matt Day: I wouldn't mind if they put the Intercontinental title on him (Styles) first to be honest, they're starting to make it seem like a legit second tier belt.

Michael Ryne: I want Nakamura or Styles to win Money in the Bank, take the year to build them up.

Matt Day: Well, you put the IC title on Styles and then Nakamura can come in and win and it furthers us smart fans knowing that Styles can't beat Nakamura for it anywhere so he moves up to facing Brock, Roman, Seth, whoever for the world title.

Then it lets Nakamura hold a midcard belt for a bit. Keep legitimizing the that belt (like John Cena did with the United States Championship) until injuries come back and NXT call ups happen. Non-smart fans will see a new awesome guy take down AJ and get interested in him.

Matt Day: I think Dean wins MitB this year by the way. I also think Sasha Bank is going over at Mania

Graeme H: I think Ric [Flair] is gonna get whooped during the divas match.

Matt Day: He's gotta get booted from a match eventually right? Or nah cause he's "Two Time Hall of Famer get rekt."

Graeme H: I don't think booted. I think like the same thing that happened with the Charlotte/Becky match, where he got kicked. I think that'll just happen again, only with a finisher move.

Matt Day: I wish Becky had put the Dis-Arm-er on him at the Royal Rumble after that kiss.

Graeme H: Would've been cool. [Haha]

Matt Day: Better than her just losing, being pushed aside by Sasha and crying on he outside. You saw that pic of her right?

Graeme H: No.

Graeme H.: Oh, God

Matt Day: I know right? The Becky feels.

Matt Day: I'm just so excited to see Sasha get that Wrestlemaina match. Glad she's getting her time to shine solo during this point of the WWE year. I hope Charlotte starts selling moves too, that's her biggest flaw right now.


Mike's Twitter- @MichaelRyne
Graeme's Twitter- @HaruBunZ (though admittedly he doesn't Tweet much)
 Matt's Twitter- @_FatJesus_

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