Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Fat Jesus Reviews Talks WWE #1!

I've been wanting to do more wrestling posts alongside of my normal film reviews. I have a schedule of film reviews that will be starting next Monday (February 1st) so keep an eye out for everything leading into The Academy Awards this year!

My friend Mike and I have known each other for like five or six years now, I don't know anymore. We met way back in the day on John Canton's Facebook page. If you don't know John Canton, go give him a follow on Twitter (@JohnReport) or check out his website TJR Wrestling. He's one of the best at covering pro wrestling. Back on track, Mike and I both love sports, I'm a Dallas sports guy and he's a Chicago one. But more importantly, we're both pro wrestling fans. WWE, despite it's recent shortcomings, has been the most accessible wrestling for most of our lives. We've always watched it, no matter how bad Raw's have been lately. After almost every WWE PPV at some point during the following week (after Raw) we have some sort of discussion, fantasy booking, etc.

We discuss what we think is stupid, correct and what we'd like to see happen going forward. This week, coming off the 2016 Royal Rumble, the jumping off point was Roman Reigns being put into the number one contenders triple threat match at Fastlane, which spiraled into talking about Brock Lesnar, The Wyatt Family, Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura. Our good friend Graeme also had some thoughts on the Charlotte, Becky and Sasha triangle too!

This is more of a test blog to see how much interest people would have of putting my friends and my hypothetical wrestling booking and thoughts into a blog post. We're grown men who get passionate about oiled up men grappling each other, so there is some heavy cursing at times. So if you like this, keep doing what you're doing by reading the post, or you can let one of us know your thoughts!

Also, if you're interested in my thoughts on all the pro wrestling events I watch this year and what the most notable and best matches are, be sure to visit this link:!


Michael Ryne: Though I am excited for the next few months of WWE, the more I think about it, the more how ridiculously stupid their current storylines are in a literal sense.

Triple H wins the title -- so his wife books a #1 contenders match in which her husband could potentially face Brock Lesnar...what.

Also, Lesnar is probably going to get screwed by the Wyatts in that match -- the very same Bray Wyatt who once famously said "ANYONE but you, Roman" But he's going to help Roman win the #1 contenders match most likely.

 WWE is good, but logically hilarious. [Haha]

Matt Day: Not to mention if it were really up to The Authority why put Roman in the match at all? Just make it Brock vs Dean Ambrose with Roman on the outside looking in.

Michael Ryne: I can buy the reasoning of "Well, fuck you Roman, this is your "rematch clause" but fuck you, it's to become the #1 Contender."

Matt Day: I guess you could say it's technically his rematch too, I suppose. But he has one anyway so there should be no reason for him to have to fight for the rematch he's owed. 

I'm resigned to the fact he's (Reigns) probably holding it (World Title) until Seth comes back or something. [Haha] I'm excited for literally everything but the main title.

Michael Ryne: Also they fucking blow at pushing Roman [Haha] It worked when he beat Sheamus because no one like Sheamus. Now he's facing a top 3 face in the company in Ambrose and fucking Lesnar who is so badass, most fans like him and the smart fans adore him. No one is going to root for Reigns. [Haha]

Matt Day: Lesnar is a face now after getting fucked by The Authority and The Wyatts.

Michael Ryne: Exactly, it's a 3 face match and Roman is by far the least popular. And yet he's going to be the one pushed and wind up with the title after WrestleMania -- hell that show is likely going to end with Reigns and the title. [Haha]

Matt Day: I think Flo Rida fans love Triple H because of NXT and such and he'll get more heat other places. So that will help too. 

Matt Day: I think Roman is more popular than Dean to be honest.

Michael Ryne: I would disagree, I think Dean gets more consistent pops with zero boos.

Michael Ryne: Reigns may get louder ones at times, but he gets booed too.

Matt Day: I guess WWE likes the overall reaction Roman invokes.

Michael Ryne: New Cena lol.

Matt Day: He feels more like new Batista right now. New-ish guy, gets loud ass mixed reactions and can't talk on the mic to save his life.

Michael Ryne: Just put the title on Styles and post-Wrestlemania, they have a year-long hatred-fueled feud with Nakamura over the title until Summerslam with Nakamura being a part of the authority

Matt Day: I wouldn't mind if they put the Intercontinental title on him (Styles) first to be honest, they're starting to make it seem like a legit second tier belt.

Michael Ryne: I want Nakamura or Styles to win Money in the Bank, take the year to build them up.

Matt Day: Well, you put the IC title on Styles and then Nakamura can come in and win and it furthers us smart fans knowing that Styles can't beat Nakamura for it anywhere so he moves up to facing Brock, Roman, Seth, whoever for the world title.

Then it lets Nakamura hold a midcard belt for a bit. Keep legitimizing the that belt (like John Cena did with the United States Championship) until injuries come back and NXT call ups happen. Non-smart fans will see a new awesome guy take down AJ and get interested in him.

Matt Day: I think Dean wins MitB this year by the way. I also think Sasha Bank is going over at Mania

Graeme H: I think Ric [Flair] is gonna get whooped during the divas match.

Matt Day: He's gotta get booted from a match eventually right? Or nah cause he's "Two Time Hall of Famer get rekt."

Graeme H: I don't think booted. I think like the same thing that happened with the Charlotte/Becky match, where he got kicked. I think that'll just happen again, only with a finisher move.

Matt Day: I wish Becky had put the Dis-Arm-er on him at the Royal Rumble after that kiss.

Graeme H: Would've been cool. [Haha]

Matt Day: Better than her just losing, being pushed aside by Sasha and crying on he outside. You saw that pic of her right?

Graeme H: No.

Graeme H.: Oh, God

Matt Day: I know right? The Becky feels.

Matt Day: I'm just so excited to see Sasha get that Wrestlemaina match. Glad she's getting her time to shine solo during this point of the WWE year. I hope Charlotte starts selling moves too, that's her biggest flaw right now.


Mike's Twitter- @MichaelRyne
Graeme's Twitter- @HaruBunZ (though admittedly he doesn't Tweet much)
 Matt's Twitter- @_FatJesus_

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Three Years of Fat Jesus Reviews

It's been three years now since I formally made a blog dedicated to where I want to be eventually in life. This place! I want to review things. Over the last three years I've posted 151 articles, which is roughly one post a week. I never thought I'd be able to keep a pace like that. I want to be a guy that people can come to and get opinions on films. Perhaps even video games and pro wrestling too, as I've dabbled in both on here as well. Hopefully you can respect the opinions that I have too! Because those three things are who I am and I have a passion for all of them.

I want to address why posts have been so sporadic this past year and it's mostly because of going back to school. I took five classes over the past year where I had to write weekly papers and it really burnt me out from doing reviews. I want to change that this year as I'm in a place with my education where I'm not taking more writing classes, until I can transfer, and I can focus more on writing about things that I enjoy this year.

I still plan on doing my reviews of the Best Picture contenders at this years Academy Awards, my Academy Awards preview and thoughts on it afterward. But beyond that I want to get into writing a little bit more about wrestling and continuing on with the newer films I watch throughout the year. So some new and more of the same. I want to do more trilogy reviews as well. I really liked going through films in series and seeing how they got better or worse as the stories progressed.

I don't want this to be a long-winded post, but I do want to take everyone who has ever read, retweeted, favorited or shared any of my articles over the past three years. I appreciate every view, comment (even though I don't get a ton) and criticism of my writing. I know I have typos here and there, but I like to think I've progressed a long way in the past three years. So thank you in every regard, because when I see 30 or more views on a post I get really excited that someone out there is reading my thoughts and hopefully forming a deeper opinion on the thing they're reading about.

I plan on doing a post in the next week (assuming things break my way bills-wise) of all the films I've been watching over fall and winter (so far) of this past year. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Brooklyn, Room, The Revenant, The Hateful Eight, The Good Dinosaur, Straight Outta Compton, Spectre, Spotlight, The Big Short, The Walk as well as a few other films like Sisters and Sleeping with Other People will be talked about in one form or another in the next couple of months, so stay tuned for all of that!

So for all the people that have been reading from the beginning and the people who may be reading this post as their first one, thank you for all the support, and I can't wait to share more of my thoughts with you going forward!

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

New Japan Pro Wrestling Thoughts From a Guy Who is Really Excited

New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW) is a promotion I only watched the big matches for prior to 2015. I'd watch the big Tanahashi, Okada, Chaos and Bullet Club stuff, but I never invested fully into the product. I just didn't have the time and I thought it would be hard to keep up on a weekly or monthly basis. I knew about the people like KUSHIDA, Kenny Omega (cause I've watched a fair bit of his DDT stuff), Ishii and Shibata, but never really fully got into their character or ring-work. Mostly cause of the time differential with me living in the US and the fact that they don't do a ton of shows in English. Though I have come to learn with NJPW, even not knowing any Japanese, the commentary and passion or even no commentary at all can be way better than English Announcers they bring in. Can we get JR to another Wrestle Kingdom or a G1 Climax please?

All of that only sparingly keeping up with NJPW changed when I watched Wrestle Kingdom 9 last year. It got me fully hooked to the whole roster and the talent exchange they do with Ring of Honor (ROH). To start off the year we got a PPV full of wrestling, emotion and passion that just couldn't be topped the whole year. Though I loved G1 Climax, Wrestlemania 31 and Ultima Lucha very much. Wrestle Kingdom 9 reminded me how I got into WWE all those years ago watching Wrestlemaina 19. But that's not to say it was easy to keep up with everything that goes on in a promotion that primarily doesn't speak my native tongue. I mean sure we get English promos from Kenny Omega pretty steadily or perhaps ones from the people in ROH. From what I've watched and I don't often get to catch PPV pressers, is that NJPW does all of their story-line building outside of shows, or at least most of the time that's where the talking happens. Sure you may get a challenge after win or the world champ will say speech at the end of a major PPV or match. But story-lines are built outside of the ring and settled exclusively inside of it. So getting used to the WWE, or I guess just Western style, of having everything spelled out for you, takes some getting used to.

Another big difference is that NJPW really focuses on the wrestling aspect of pro wrestling. They call it puroresu which roughly translates to "pro-wres." Most notably, in NJPW, you have "strong style" which was termed way back in the day. It's literally fighting spirit and incorporates a ton of traditional wrestling, kicks, strikes and martial arts, since a lot of NJPW's stars have MMA training and background. You also have the "King's Road" style which you're probably more used to if you've been watching the WWE. It focuses on holds, brawling and the storytelling aspect of pro wrestling. With the strong style you get faster paced matches that have a lot of fighting, counters, hard strikes and brutal stiffness. They can pack a ton of action into a 12-15 match that other promotions may take a 20+ minute match to convey.

You have Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, John Cena, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Macho Man, etc as some of the big names in the history of WWE. They are larger than life names that everyone knows because WWE/F is a worldwide thing. But up until the last decade or so, it wasn't as easy to obtain shows or events from other countries so easily. WWE has used Japanese wrestlers, but it's another thing to be able to keep up with the best NJPW has to offer and they really can be considered the best wrestlers in the world. For the past year, as a fan of pro wrestling matches over the theatrics, I've come to realize while WWE and ROH can put on top tier matches, Rollins/Lesnar/Cena, Owens/Cena, Bayley/Banks, Styles/Lethal, any Young Bucks/reDRagon combo match. NJPW puts on one of these high caliber matches nearly every PPV. 

You're about to get a huge list of massive stars that competed in NJPW or in ROH throughout 2015. This year alone I've been enthralled with a shortlist of NJPW stars that include Tetsuya Naito, Kota Ibushi, KUSHIDA, Kenny Omega, Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii, Katsuyori Shibata, Hiroshi Tanahahi, Shinsuke Nakamura and Kazuchika Okada. Not to mention they've had stellar matches with aforementioned Styles and Omega all year. This doesn't even include the tag team work that Young Bucks, reDRagon, Ricochet (Prince Puma) and Matt Sydal, Roppongi Vice, Los Ingobernables, GBH (Togi Makabe and Tomoaki Honma), Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson, who have all been doing this month after month this past year.

There is a ton of history, Young Lions (younger stars in NJPW training their way up) and people I just don't know all that well putting on matches and working their ass off for our entertainment each and every NJPW show, not just the PPVs. They hold the Best of the Super Juniors, the World Tag League and the G1 Climax Tournaments, where "smaller" people like say Karl Anderson (who shone during the G1 Climax this year) or Michael Elgin (who shone during the World Tag League) are given a chance to go all out in front of the NJPW audience. Not to mention these week and month long star studded tournaments are usually held in high regard for everyone competing and a good way to catch up on some of the lesser known NJPW stars too.  I can't wait to learn more about the history of this illustrious promotion going forward.

Now I don't really want to end this on me only giving a run down of NJPW. I want to point out my favorite things about NJPW going right now and updated as of last night NJPW New Years Dash show. So if you're not caught up to that, then you may want to stop reading until you catch up with everything that happened.

I like the Never Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship, and The Briscoe Brothers and Toru Yano are the perfect first champions.

The Briscoe Brothers are great and their reckless brawling style with the more comedic style of Yano have worked pretty well in their first two matches between Wrestle Kingdom 10 and New Years Dash. The three have an obvious chemistry, and the promo they cut after the main event of  NYD was very endearing. The Briscoe Brothers cut a basic promo about coming into NJPW and right off the bat winning the tag team titles. The crowd seemed silent, so when they passed the mic to Yano to end the show he commented with "I bet none of you knew what they said, did you? No prob, I didn't either! But we've got a bond, heart to heart. You probably do, too!" which is fantastic.

The IWGP Junior Tag Team Championships are still awesome.

The Young Bucks are still awesome. Whether you like them or not they're one of the top tag teams on the planet. Even with Bobby Fish getting a little older, him and Kyle O'Reilly are one of the most smooth tag teams on the market. reDRagon is awesome. Combine that with Ricochet and Matt Sydal rising and putting on fantastic matches these three teams are still putting forth great matches I'll continue to enjoy. Though I do think they need to maybe push a team like David Finlay and Jay White into this picture as they had a good match with Ricochet/Sydal at NYD.

I like Los Ingobernables and Bushi vs KUSHIDA will be fun.

I thought Tetsuya Naito vs Goto at Wrestle Kingdom 10 was only okay. The bad guy charisma oozed out of Los Ingobarnables though and I love the villainous swag that Naito can bring to a match just by simply entering or exiting a match. Plus that scythe was awesome. KUSHIDA on the other hand had a fantastic match with Kenny Omega (and feud for that matter for a lot of 2015) and will now be dealing with Bushi as he challenged him for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship.

Never Openweight Championship is awesome no matter who is holding it.

Ishii and Shibata could have matches like this every week and I will love every single one them. Pure brutality and a fresh face like Shibata holding the title will give us a new look at challengers going forward. And if they ever do a triple threat match for this title, they may have before, I don't know, it would be beautiful.

Okada is still my favorite and another match with Goto will be good.

Tanahashi and Okada delivered what may be match of the decade at Wrestle Kingdom 10. Guts, passion and overcoming were the themes as Okada finally got the Tanahashi monkey off his back. After the eight man tag Okada was in last night Goto challenged him. Okada is one of the top, if not the top guy, on the entire planet and Goto has had wars with the likes of Nakamura (and Okada himself). Here's how the match was likely set up last night at NYD. It's all you need to know.
Goto: "The Naito thing, that finished yesterday. Okada! I'm going to take that belt!"
Okada: "You're done with Naito? That's got nothing to do with anything! But I remember losing to you in the G1. Oh, I remember when you wanted to unify the IWGP and IC belts, let's do it! Oh right, you don't have the IC belt."

Kenny Omega is the best and people will FINALLY get to see it in the main event. 
 Don't you get me wrong, Styles, Okada, Nakamura and Tanahashi had incredible matches all year. But with the way Styles was excommunicated from Bullet Club by Omega last night and the defiant way Omega challenged Nakamura for the Intercontinental Championship, he's ready to explode. His heel persona is amazing and his ring-skills are on par with anyone I've named in this write-up. With all the crazy news breaking the last few days of Styles, Nakamura, Anderson and Gallows leaving to join WWE, they had to do something and boy was that something huge. Here's the video of it and it's going to tell you all you need to know about the Bullet Club going forward. Plus Kenny Omega vs Shinsuke Nakamura is going to be bananas.
New Japan is going to be awesome this year and I'm ready for it all!