Avengers: Endgame [A Fat Jesus Work in Progress]

My critic side would've given this a 4. My inner nerd that's seen all but two of the MCU films in theaters would've given it a 5. So I pleased both sides. And if you're a fan of the MCU you'll be probably be pleased with this film too. Also, look at this slick poster by artist @kazoomori up there.

I don't know if I'm going to review it fully until I see it again, there's just so much to process. But what I will say is...CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS WIELDING MJOLNIR LIKE A EXECUTING A FINAL SMASH AND ANT-MAN PUNCHED A LEVIATHAN INTO OBLIVION AND WE'RE GETTING ASGARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!

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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

This movie is one that intrigued me to say the least. I don't mind fairy tales, I like action, I like senseless violence in movies and Jeremy Renner is pretty awesome. He's growing into almost a Jason Statham Jr. over the past few years. Never seen anything with Gemma Arterton in it, but RocknRolla was always a movie that has also intrigued me. One of the more surprising things I found out, doing the research I do after watching a movie, is that Will Ferrell and Adam McKay were producers for this movie. Big screen funny man and director funny man were involved in something like this is kinda outta left field. Now if only they could've got some comedic stars and a good script, this..well could've been good.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters follows the story of the classic fairy tale duo of children Hansel and Gretel (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton). After they escape the old witch and burn her alive, as told by the old tale, they then spend the next 15 years hunting and killing witches. Things come naturally to them, as for an unknown reason, they are immune to all the powers and spells of a witch. One day, in the town of Augsberg, they save a girl, Mina (Pihla Viitala), from falsely being executed as a witch. Turns out the Mayor, Englemann (Rainer Brock), has hired Hansel and Gretel to help find children who have been taken from the village by witches. That night, Muriel (Famke Janssen) a power grand witch, kills a group of witch hunters and send one back alive to warn the town not to get involved. The siblings discover that the witches are collecting children to preform the ritual of Blood Moon. They enlist the help of a fan boy who's been following all the exploits of Hansel and Gretel, Ben (Thomas Mann). Gretel also meets a new friend who happens to be a troll, in Edward (Derek Mears (Voiced by Robin Atkins Downes)), who helps her out of a jam. It'll take all Hansel, Gretel and crew has to try and stop Muriel from completing one of the worst rituals ever imagined.

Well this movie certainly had a lot more blood than I was expecting. During almost every scene someone is bleeding, getting blown away with steam punk-esque shotguns or with the use of witches magic. This is a gore-fest if there ever was one. So if you like your movies blood-filled this is right up your alley. The story is pretty lame, as I lost interest pretty quickly. Not saying it isn't imaginative and "classic tale, new twist" like the tag line, but to me it just got boring. I'm fine with knowing that Hansel and Gretel escape the old witch and then live happily ever after. This turns them into vigilantes of sorts, and while it's bad ass, it's not really suited for a full length movie. The action is alright too I guess. Jeremy Renner definitely brought it, with both screen presence and in the hand to hand combat or gun fight scenes. But the rest, is like I said above, was done with overly gory blood explosions.

The acting was something. Renner and Aterton did well as the leads. Hansel and Gretel are written well enough to be able to play off of each other. Thomas Mann, as Ben, was a bit of comic relief as he's the overly excited fanboy. While the siblings are more stoic and grounded in what they do. Famke Janssen as Muriel the evil witch was decent I suppose and Mina, Pihla Viitala, is alright throughout as well. The rest feels like a one off carousel of townspeople and witches that almost ALL die by the time the credits roll. Nothing in terms of a huge amount of character development as the whole cast almost gets killed after five to ten minutes on screen. Nothing standout, but in the end, nothing really disappointing. The music, dialogue  cinematography and anything else you can think of was all middle of the road as well. Nothing good, but like most of this movie, nothing terrible either.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a highly original idea that doesn't really pan out well as one would hope. While you find yourself wanting this to kick in as you watch it, it just never really does. The acting, action, story all feel uninspired. It soon becomes how many different ways can we incorporate steam punk weapons into killing witches in huge explosions of blood. That being said if you go into this wanting to see a lot of cleavage, blood spatter and a creative fairy-tail twist on killing witches, you'll probably get a kick out of this. But for me it just doesn't do it and adds yet another disappointing movie to the list of 2013 movies to come out so far.

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The Avengers [A Fat Jesus BluRay Review]

This is my first time doing a DVD and/or Blu-Ray review so I wanted to pick a great (recent movie) with a quality (not quantity) amount of extras and things to go over. So this Blu-Ray dvd combo set, I'll be dammed if I couldn't find it in Blu-Ray packaging, of The Avengers seemed like a good place to try my hand at it first.

First off the commentary track, with Joss Whedon, is pretty damn awesome. From writing, directing and producing TV and internet shows including Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse he's no slouch in TV fantasy. But look to what he's done on the big screen, helping pen movies like Toy Story, Thor, Captain America and The Cabin in the Woods, and it has Whedon all over it as well. As well as all this, Whedon is a life long comic book fan and he has an 8-issue series with Dark Horse called The Fray. So hearing the man behind all of the aforementioned giving little insights to thought processes, why he filmed what a certain way and all his thinking patterns regarding the writing and directing of the biggest Marvel movie to date, well, it's truly a treat.

Along with the Blu-Ray set you get another installment in the Marvel One-Shot series called, Item 47. Item 47, takes place after the final battle of The Avengers and follows the story of a down of their luck couple named Benny and Claire (Jessie Bradford and Lizzy Caplain) who find a left-over Chitauri gun (Item 47) and decide to start robbing banks with it. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Sitwell and Blake (Maximiliano Hernandez and Titus Welliver) are assigned to track and receive the now active gun from the two, reminiscing about Agent Coulston as the mission begins. We are also informed that all the Chitauri guns are all "dead" so it's a wonder that the couple is even using it. I'll let you watch the rest of this short-film, but to say the very least it makes me wonder if we'll see these four in upcoming Marvel movies, including Iron Man 3 (2013), Thor 2 (2013), Captain America 2 (2014), The Incredible Hulk 2 (2015) and The Avengers 2 (2015).

There's a couple of really cool featurettes (A Visual Journey and Assembling the Ultimate Team), a gag reel (The first EVER one for a Marvel film) and deleted scenes that comes with this set as well. One featurette is on the DVD as well. The first is called "A Visual Journey." Chronicling the huge and unique set designs and all the different special effects and cinematography. The other, which is on the DVD as well is "Assembling the Ultimate Team" in which the all-star cast, including Robert Downey Jr, Joss Whedon, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Cobie Smulders and Samuel L. Jackson, all talk about their characters and how this is one of the most start-studded movie of all time. 

The deleted scenes all give more insight into characters like Maria Hill, Hawkeye and there's even a great scene involving Captain America. The gag reel is hilarious and give a great look behind the scenes and what the atmosphere on set was like. Would've been fun to spend a day on that set when everyone was there at once. Also the Second Screen experience, The Avengers Initiative, was cool as well. I synched up my movie with an app on my laptop and it offered a ton of extras such a videos, pictures, actor bios, behind the scenes shots, story-boards, comic book trivia and so much more. Watching with this added a ton of behind the scene stuff, even on top of the commentary I had just watched.

This was the best superhero movie of the year and the BluRay and DVD combo set did not disappoint. The commentary track is there and it's more than informative. The gag reel is hilarious while the deleted scenes are good, but rightfully removed. The featurettes are great watches and the Marvel One-Shot film, Item 47, is the best of the three released so far. The Avengers Initiative was also really cool to go through as well during the watch cause I've seen this movie a lot since it came out. This set is well worth the money and if you can get it in BluRay packaging more power to ya. This is a set you should definitely own.