Thursday, October 23, 2014

Dead Snow 2 [A Spooky Fat Jesus Review]


Happy Halloween week everyone! It's been awhile since I've done some reviews, so I thought what better way to jump back in, than with a spooky batch of horror movies! The first movie I've chosen to get the week rolling, is the sequel to one of my favorite zombie flicks of all time, 'Dead Snow.' 'Dead Snow' was a 2009 Norwegian film, that followed the story of a group of friends who are terrorized by Nazi Zombies as they vacation in the mountains of Norway. The film struck a cord with 19 year old me, as I hadn't yet been introduced to all the awesome foreign films that are released. The story was original and over the top, the kills were brutal imaginative and everything was just plain fun. Now, half a decade later, I'd like to think I've matured a little bit. But, as you can tell by the poster at the top of this review, I'm still that 19 year old at heart. 'Dead Snow 2' or 'Dead Snow: Red Vs. Dead' is a movie that you'd normally think couldn't be as well done as the first. This is the horror genre after all, but I was more than happy to gather a bunch of friends to watch this. Needless to say, I had a blast.

'Dead Snow 2' follows the story of Martin (Vegar Hoel), the lone survivor of the events of the first movie, as he reaches his car at the bottom of the mountain and begins to escape. The Nazi zombies catch up to him, but are unable to stop him from driving off. Colonel Herzog (Orjan Gamst) was hanging onto his window before Martin finally escapes, but Herzog ends up losing his arm in the car. Not long after, Martin crashes and wakes up in the hospital. He is tied to his bed under the assumption he killed his friends, but what's worse, is that they sutured Herzog's arm onto his body. The arm has enormous strength and he uses it to escape the hospital. Martin gets into contact with three American siblings, Daniel, Monica and Blake (Martin Starr, Jocelyn DeBoer and Ingrid Haas), who have been preparing for the zombie apocalypse their whole lives. Martin and the Zombie Squad, as they call themselves, are in for the fight of their lives, as they must stop Colonel Herzog from leading his troop of Nazi zombies, to destroy the town they were ordered to all those years ago.

This movie worked on so many levels it's unreal. There's the underlying fright, that there is indeed Nazi zombies ready to rise from the grave and continue Hitler's bidding. But there's also the brutality done with each kill in this movie. Even the kills that are lighthearted and comedic, are done is a bloody barrage of violence. It's not just getting hit in the head with a bathroom sink, it's getting annihilated by the bathroom sink, while your significant other is destroyed in a bathtub. It works for this type of film, it really does. The action scenes were done well and the set pieces were fun to watch explode. All while the "final battle" was a giant, fun, zombie filled street fight. Amidst all the senseless and blood spurting terror, there's a self-aware sense of humor. They know this is a film about Nazi zombies, we know we're watching a film about Nazi zombies, so setting the humor dial to low, is just gonna turn this movie into almost every other horror sequel, mediocre at best. The kills are great, houses are destroyed, no one is safe and hell, they're just cruising along  this Norwegian Countryside in a tank. A TANK! The story is highly original, just like in the first film and I don't think I ever got bored throughout. You'd think that "Nazi zombies" is a one off phenomenon, but if they keep making scripts and stories as good as the first two films, I'll keep watching until 'Dead Snow 5: Castro Vs. Jong-Il.' (Never mind that neither have anything to do with Nazis or snow for that matter. Just go with it.) The acting throughout was also pretty good. Vegar Hoel reprises his role well as Martin, while Martin Starr and company provide a lot of heart and humor, while also making the second half of the movie highly entertaining. The score and music are great as well, nothing felt out of place and generally sounded good. The runtime of 100 minutes, is a little long, but if you're anything like me, you'll be into this movie once it really gets rolling

'Dead Snow 2: Red Vs. Dead' is a movie you just have to watch for yourself. I mean that, go watch it. It doesn't even matter much if you haven't seen the first, cause they give you a quick run through at the beginning of the film. I will say, this is a fun film that's probably not gonna scare you. The acting is okay as is most everything else in the film. If you love an original story, tons of blood and violence, awesome kills and a few laughs along the way, 'Dead Snow 2' is a movie you'll want to go out of your way for.


Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Purge: Anarchy [A Fat Jesus Quick Hit]


Let's be brutally honest here, 'The Purge' blew complete chunks. The concept was, and still is, intriguing. But the way they executed first film was wrong in almost every single way. The story was tired, they confined all the action to happening in one house and they didn't really take any risks with anything. Now we have 'The Purge: Anarchy.' From the trailers alone you could tell they felt they had to expand their horizons. A day of murder is cool when one house is getting terrorized. It's another level when you expand your playground to a whole city. This is where the sequel, sets itself apart from it's predecessor.

'The Purge: Anarchy' follows the story of five people who are strangers to each other at the start of the day. They are forced to band together once they are all caught out in the streets of LA during the sixth annual Purge. The first two are Eva and Cali Sanchez (Carmen Ejogo and Zoe Soul), a mother and her daughter, who are dragged out of their home by armored after the purge began. They are reluctantly saved by our third person, Sergeant Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo). He is out for revenge during this year's purge and is on a mission to make it to the man he intends to kill. Our fourth and fifth members of this unlikely group, are a couple, Shane and Liz (Zach Gilford and Kiele Sanchez). They are running from a group of thugs who have been tailing them since before the Purge began. They end up in the back of Sergeant Barnes' car as he is saving Eva and Cali. The five must now stick together and figure out a way to survive the night. With an extremest telling them to take back their city, a group of thugs being led by "God" and a demented butcher manning a turret, this is going to be the most brutal night of their lives.

This was the movie I was looking forward to when I watched 'The Purge' last year. Murder in the streets, psychopaths abound, pretty brutal violence, good character development and a decent story. All this is what the first movie needed but sorely missed. The acting, while not going to garner any awards, is perfectly acceptable in this film. Led by Frank Grillo who sets the tone for the film. I also thought Zoe Soul was almost the backbone of the group as well. The rest of the group was fine, but those are the two that really drove the action, as well as the character interactions. Speaking of the action it is plentiful and brutal. From moment the Purge starts there's rampant in your face violence. Bodies get ripped apart from bullets, vehicles are outfitted with flame throwers and wealthy people are killing at will because they can. The kills in passing are done well, while the tactical kills from Barnes are swift and fulfilling. The hand to hand combat Barnes' character brings is a nice contrast to the senseless violence and ads another dimension to the action. The story is alright as well. It expands upon the idea of "The Purge" while giving pretty good character development and making an effort to give said characters life. They become more than just five people fighting death on the worst night of the year. The overall feel of this is better as well. It wasn't a poorly crafted horror film following a family trapped in a house. I'd rather have this grisly, almost survival-like film. It suits the series much better than trying to use jump scares or building tension.

This film is far from a slam dunk, but 'The Purge: Anarchy' is a massive improvement over the first film. While not the greatest action film ever to be crafted, it takes the idea that was squandered in 'The Purge' and gives it some new life. The murderous action is a welcome addition to the film. The fact there's an actual story and some character development to back it up helps this movie out a ton as well. If you liked the first film for whatever reason, or if you're like me, and wanted to see the idea of "The Purge" done well, then this is a welcome improvement. Otherwise, this isn't gonna be the film for you in the slightest.


Neighbors [A Fat Jesus Quick Hit]


Let's be honest here, Zac Efron gets a lot of heat (here's a wrestling term 11 words in) for his roles in films over the years. But he's honestly not that terrible of an actor and has really grown out of his Disney star phase. When you can pair him with the people he was with in 'Neighbors' you get quite a pleasant performance out of him. All in a movie where you expect people like Seth Rogen, Dave Franco or Rose Byrne to outshine him. Why am I focusing on Zac Efron here? What I wanted to get across is, that even though he is a lead in this film, it shouldn't discourage you from giving this a watch. 'Neighbors' is actually a very fun movie.

'Neighbors' follows the story of Mac and Kelly Radner (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) who have a newborn daughter, Stella. They are feeling alienated from their old lifestyle and being able to go out with their friends Jimmy and Paula (Ike Barinholtz and Carla Gallo). One day they notice they have new neighbors moving in, it's a fraternity called Delta Psi Beta. Led by Teddy Sanders and Peter Regazolli (Zac Efron and Dave Franco), the frat aspires to make its mark on Dela Psi Beta's history when they throw their end of the year party. One night, Mac and Kelly ask Teddy if the frat can keep it down. He agrees on the condition, they they never call the cops, but go straight to him. The next night, Mac is unable to get a hold of Teddy to turn the music down and Kelly convinces him to call the police. They try to send an anonymous tip, but the police officer identifies them to Teddy as the people who called it in. This marks the beginning of the ever escalating battle between Delta Psi Beta and The Radner's. 

I wasn't expecting much going into this, mostly because the trailer made this look like a very lackluster comedy. I love Seth Rogen and Dave Franco as well. But Rose Byrne isn't too big of a comedic powerhouse and Zac Efron isn't exactly filling the seats for comedy films either. Everyone surprised me though, as the main four have a fantastic chemistry and the interactions between Zac Efron, Dave Franco, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Jerrod Carmichael were side spilling at times. Don't get me wrong, Seth Rogen is great and Rose Byrne did a good job, but the biggest laughs this movie got out of me was from that foursome. The acting is fine in 'Neighbors,' for what this movie is, but the comedy is even better and that is what keeps this from being below average or mediocre. The story is quite alright too, it's coherent enough and has a lot more character development than I thought this type of movie would have. The supporting cast is pretty good throughout too as Ike Barinholtz, Carla Gallo, Hannibal Buress all play good roles and get time to let their comedic timing shine. The comedy isn't lacking either. It's produced by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, so it's filled to the brim it recurring gags, great one liners and awesome back-and-forths between almost every main character. There is some draggy parts, some scenes that didn't need to be in there and it might be a tad too long. None of this ruins the overall fun factor of this film, as you'll be hit with some good laughs all throughout this film. 

I really liked 'Neighbors.' It's not the best comedy of the year, but it's one that gets the job done. The story won't win any awards, the acting won't be the best you'll ever see in a comedy, but this is movie you won't feel bad for watching. Seth Rogen is endearing, Zac Efron delivers another solid performance, Dave Franco is getting better and better with each film and it's always nice to have Rose Byrne in a supporting comedic role. 'Neighbors' is just plain fun.


Lucy [A Fat Jesus Quick Hit]


'Lucy' is one of those flicks I had no intention of seeing, but then I ended  up watching it with some friends. I was not expecting this to be good. In fact, this is one of those movies, whose premise left me dumbfounded as to why this could even get made. This review is not going to review this as if it's an action, sci-fi, thriller, oh no. This review will done in the style as if I was watching a comedy. Because watching 'Lucy,' I can honestly say, that I laughed, more than any human ever should have at this.

'Lucy' follows the story of Lucy (Scarlett Johansson), a 25-year old American woman who is studying abroad in Taiwan. We're thrust immediately into the action, as Lucy is tricked by her new boyfriend Richard (Pilou Asbæk) into becoming a drug mule. Richard's boss is a Korean drug lord by the name of  Mr. Jang (Choi Min-sik) who is having Lucy, and three others, smuggle a synthesized version CPH4 throughout Europe. While she is being held at her destination, Lucy is beaten by her captors and the drugs' container is broken, letting it seep directly into Lucy's system. The drugs do wonders on her body, as she is instantly able to begin using telekinesis and has enhanced mental and physical abilities. This allows her to escape her captors and start to form a plan. This plan consists of getting the rest of the drugs back from Mr. Jang. It also involves getting to world renowned professor, Samuel Norman (Morgan Freeman), whose research into the human brain may be enough to save her.

First off, this movie flew by, as it's only 82 minutes. Despite it being the most unintentionally funny movie I've watched recently, it didn't take up all that much of my time. Everything starts to become funny as soon as this film gets rolling. There are the obvious comedic parts that they actually threw in there, those are mostly awful. The real fun starts when Samuel Norman, is giving a lecture and there's an over abundance of stock footage littered throughout. Including, but not limited to, cool shots of exotic rivers and landscapes, which leads into a nice moment where I'm watching frogs mate and a baby deer being born. The fun doesn't end there, because this stock footage is some sort of recurring gag throughout this. Inserted whenever Lucy starts to learn or Morgan Freeman is talking aloud. Then the drugs begin to invade Lucy's body after she is beaten up, this is where all semblance of logic and writing is thrown completely out the window. Not only does unlocking your brain's potential turn you into an android, it also makes you a emotionless, psychopathic murderer contained in a superhero's body. Seriously, Lucy becomes borderline God-like. You can believably write someone having telekinetic powers or even having the sonar-like radar dolphins have. But, I'm going to lose my mind and die of laughter, if you're gonna try to convince me, that unlocking a human brain can disarm a room full of thugs and proceed to suspend them in mid-air. Don't think for once second either, that I can suspend my belief, that with 80% (or whatever it was at that point) of my brain power, I can physically see, sort through and control data. Or that with  90% of my brain's power I can mentally travel back in time and see exactly how everything as we know it, came to be. It's like they wrote each percentage jump, as over the top as possible, and I bought into the comedy aspect of all this hook, line and sinker. Also there is almost nothing positive in this movie. There is no character development, acting skills, fun music, decent action or good dialogue. If the story and writing wasn't so unintentionally hilarious, this would be my worst movie of the year to date. Side note: the fact that I can go to Staples, buy a flash drive and then store all of the universe's knowledge on it, is hysterical.

I want to find the people who genuinely liked this film and shake their hand. If I had any hope for this film, or took it seriously, I'd be pretty pissed off that I wasted my time with 'Lucy.' This is truly a bad movie, only saved by the fact that I could completely turn my brain off, constantly ask myself what the hell is going on and enjoy each frame where Scarlett looks like she's holding in a nasty fart. This is a movie that takes a somewhat interesting premise, draws a line it wants to try and cross and then proceeds to blow up that line with a landmine. 'Lucy' is a great movie if you're drunk, or high, or want to see Scarlett Johansson in a thin white t-shirt. If you go into this expecting the next great sci-fi movie, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Oculus [A Fat Jesus Quick Hit]


I'm a big fan of horror films. Whether they're immensely good or just plain awful, I can usually have fun watching a given horror flick. I first heard of 'Oculus' watching Monday Night Raw one night, this is a WWE Studios film. I was intrigued, because it didn't look that awful. The story looked pretty original and it didn't look like it was going to be that bad. The problem is, this is made by the people who did 'Paranormal Activity,' so that means that this movie didn't really kick in until the final act, but by then it was too late.

'Oculus' follows the story of Kaylie and Tim Russell (Annalise Basso and Garrett Ryan). As children their family moved into a new house and their father, Allen (Rory Cochrane), bought an antique mirror. Strange things begin happening to Kaylie and Tim's parents not long after the move. Their father starts to isolate himself in his office, while their mother, Marie (Katie Sackhoff), starts to become withdrawn and paranoid. Eventually, they deteriorate to the point where both parents attack the children. After struggles with Allen and Marie, they are killed. The police take Tim, under the assumption that he killed his parents. The kids promise to reunite one day to destroy the mirror. Eleven years later Tim (Brenton Thwaites) is released from the psychopathic hospital he was in and picked up by Kaylie (Karen Gillan). The promise between the two is kept as Kaylie has acquired the mirror, under the assumption that it was the thing that caused the family tragedy. The two begin to trek down memory lane in the hopes of finally finding out what really happened to them as children.

The biggest problem with this film is that nothing happens for the first hour. The acting doesn't mesh too well throughout the film. At times the mannerisms of Kaylie, played by Karen Gillan, are erratic and often over the top and unnecessary. This could be due to the direction or it could just be the sign of a bad acting job. You don't really get too much insight in Tim either, so it's hard to see him as anything other than a crazy person, who could turn out to not be crazy. They are the only two you remotely need to know about, so you can already tell the character building for the rest of the cast is top notch. (This is sarcasm. I feel I need to put this here.) The scenes are also kinda wonky to me. The flashbacks and flash-forwards between the story-lines are often badly done. I feel like they did too much jumping for almost no reason. The last act of the movie showcases the idea of blending the two story-lines together well, but by that point I hardly cared and just wanted the film to end. The story, overall, is pretty alright too. I didn't mind the idea of setting a supernatural story in two separate times and then melding it all together into one. The problem is that by the time all the action started happening I was bored. This film isn't long, so this all on the writing and acting. I started to just stop caring about what was happening. Not to mention, a mind control mirror isn't all that scary to begin with. The freaky mind tricks were cool at first and there were a few creepy spots. They then start to recycle ideas, the acting gets more tiresome and the story just kinda plays out. The music is fine too, but it also starts to get repetitive and annoying. Especially one particular track that sounds like a watered down version of the 'Inception' noise. You all know the noise, you all do.

I really wanted to like this. There were times, especially the last thirty minutes or so, it hit its stride and salvaged this film from being a complete bore to me. Unfortunately, the first part of this film is almost unbearable. The acting is a chore to watch at times and the time jumps aren't done very well. 'Oculus' is is a film that had the right idea and intriguing story, but implemented almost everything else the wrong way. You can add annoying music and lack of synergy, to the list of hings that doomed this film from get go. If you can get into this more power to you, but 'Oculus' is a film that I never want to see again.